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Mantis Update: 5/9/2006

by annie
  • No one has heard from Jenjen since her wedding. We assume that she is still alive in Singapore, and hope that she has managed to avoid flogging.
  • Chekkie is permanently brain-damaged. He is currently on Mantis life support and hooked into zephyr class Skank intravenously.
  • Elina is pregnant. Joey claims he is the father of the sprog but early ultrasounds clearly indicate that the sprog is a half Korean boy. Hmmm…
  • But Mo is still a virgin.
  • So Joey and Elina are still getting married on June 12, in San Francisco.
  • Willie’s gift to their child will be the Barrett M107 .50 caliber rifle. However he will be unable to attend the wedding this June, thus the rifle will be shipped to the boy via private courier the moment he surpasses 33 pounds.

Stay tuned for more…

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 at 1:47 pm and is filed under skank. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Mantis Update: 5/9/2006”

  1. jack flap Says:
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    Their child will be known as BLADE. The beginning is nigh! There will be three couriers, just like its done in the movies, where you have to pick one of the three. But, none of them will actually have the rifle. Calistoga is everything. Remember BONDS must die.

  2. jack flap Says:
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    well ive already done this.. but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO moderation … fuck that

  3. jack flap Says:
    May 9th, 2006 at 2:42 pm

    well fuck, muthafokker, shit birds!

  4. bigjoe Says:
    May 9th, 2006 at 7:48 pm

    Thanks for the update, Annie. Somebody needs to slap jack flap around a little bit, though.

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